In the eye of this Sturm, Bruce Willis plays himself magnificently, while Samuel L. I refer to more than two hours of blitzkrieg action, extraordinary stunts and explosions and more climaxes than the previous two movies combined. * DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE (R) As summer action flicks go, director John McTiernan's return to the Die Hard genre (he made the first one) is a triumph. As Hackman and Washington duke it out like Captain Bligh and Fletcher Christian as holocaust approach-es, it's no effort to take the dive with them.
The movie is about trembling hands clutching nuclear-bombing codes, sweating crew-members crossing themselves and clocks counting the world's final minutes. The belligerency in this submarine thriller feels almost sentimental, as gung-ho skipper Gene Hackman and his relatively McGovernick lieutenant, Denzel Washington, head towards possible nuclear confrontation with a Russian rebel. CRIMSON TIDE (R) When it comes to submarines, boys will be boys - end of the Cold War be damned. Meanwhile, the audience twiddles its thumbs, waiting for a disappointing finale of earthquake-shaken walls, special-effects molten lava and mad-as-hell killer apes. As if aware that Congo is the least interesting adventure ever made, screenwriter John Patrick Shanley (who once wrote a funny movie called Moonstruck) tries to inoculate the activities with humor. Instead, they find a collection of cheap Hollywood soundstages resembling the monkey kingdom in The Jungle Book, which is protected by killer apes coiffed like Billy Idol. And Silverstone can, like, totally act.Joe Brown CONGO (R) In this dismal adaptation of a Michael Crichton bestseller (not one of the writer's best either), an acutely un-stellar ensemble (Dylan Walsh, Laura Linney, Tim Curry, Ernie Hudson, Joe Don Baker and Grant Heslov) stumbles its way to a lost city of diamonds in darkest Africa. Crammed with pop-culture references to everything from cell phones to skateboarding to Starbucks, Clueless has better teenspeak lines than Heathers. in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, it trails Cher (Silverstone), a comically overprivileged, super-popular, Beverly Hills galleria golden girl in her efforts to prove (at least to herself) that she's not totally shallow. Starring compulsively watchable Alicia Silverstone, MTV's Girl of the Moment, and directed by Amy Heckerling, who crystallized early-'80s L.A. JOE BROWN * CLUELESS (PG-13) A Gidget for the Millennium, a perfect time capsule for this Attention-Deficit-Disordered decade, Clueless is a live-action Sassy magazine. The journey is both harrowing and exhilarating. But when something goes suddenly, sickeningly wrong, the astronauts' bitter disappointment at realizing that they've "lost the moon" gives way to a dawning horror: Will they ever come home? Director Ron Howard takes what could have been claustrophobic's nightmare movie - three guys trapped in a can - and makes it ring with action, anxiety and emotion, mainly by keeping the plight of the astronauts linked to the fears and hopes of earthbound colleagues and loved ones. The film's stunning special effects capture the grandeur of the liftoff, the balletic beauty of the ship's maneuvers and the giddy goofiness of the first moments of weightlessness. * APOLLO 13 (PG) Ground Control to Major Tom: Starring Tom Hanks, Kevin Bacon and Bill Paxton as astronauts Lost in Space on a star-crossed moon mission, Apollo 13 hits new heights as the suspenseful true story of bringing three men back from the moon. He rewarded her by dressing her in leather, filming her in unflattering light and giving her the worst hair since Chewbacca's in Star Wars. Huppert, a Hartley idol, graciously accepted his invitation to appear in his film. For all these provocative ingredients, Amateur is a listlessly convoluted satire, bereft of humorous vitality. Donovan - who's still trying to figure out who he is, why Lowensohn hates him so much, and why a bunch of gunmen are after both of them - hooks up with Isabelle Huppert, an ex-nun who writes pornographic short stories. AMATEUR (R) In Hal Hartley's forced, plodding arthouse caper, Martin Donovan loses his memory when he's pushed from a high window by prostitute Elina Lowensohn. 16 you'll find our top gift picks among kidvids for sale. Below: Desson Howe, other critics' notes on new rentals.
In an unexpected bow to holiday spirit, distributors won't release Showgirls or Mortal Kombat until right after Christmas. This year's hot stocking stuff: Batman Forever, Apollo 13, The Santa Clause. Over recent years, the humble video has earned a place next to such venerated holiday giftware as sweaters, sleds and Chia-pets.
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